Back to School... NOT!

About a month ago, the children in Wisconsin returned to school for another year.  So did the teachers. But for the first time in 54 years, Scott Oftedahl did not.  I have moved in a new direction, driving trucks, and no longer hear bells, kids chattering in hallways, and feel my days pulled in one way or another by the emotions of teachers and students.

It started out feeling odd, moving around the community while instruction was going on in classrooms.  I felt as though I were doing something sneaky, unethical.  I was never one to skip school as a student, and as a teacher, I had an outstanding attendance record, as well.  Unless I was deathly sick or had a medical appointment, I reported to school and worked hard.

Last year, something changed.  The year began normally, but I noticed I was beginning to grind against the decisions made by a newer superintendent.  Many of her decisions were based on incorrect information, but she didn't respond when given more facts and consequences of the direction she was headed.  Despite contributing ideas to save money, stress for teachers and students, and streamline communication, once she made her decision, nothing would change.  When I pushed harder, I was sternly told to back down.

Only two other times in my career did I encounter this behavior from a supervisor.  The first time, I was a middle school music teacher attempting to build my program, and convinced my principal to allow some changes.  After I announced them to students and parents, board members and the superintendent pushed back on the principal, who lied and said he never agreed to the changes and hung me out to dry.  As a result, a letter of reprimand was placed in my personnel file and my trust in the man was shattered.  Six months later, the man suffered a nervous breakdown, resigned, and after the promotion of the associated principal to principal, I accepted the associate principal position and began my career in school administration.  As unethical as it was, I pulled the bullshit letter of reprimand from my personnel file at the school, too.

The second time a faced this behavior, I was in the middle of my sixth year as an elementary principal in the same district.  A new superintendent was trying to make a name for himself and was throwing every corny motivational gimmick at staff in order to improve staff morale.  He was a clown, but he was assisted by a dungeon-master bitch of an associate superintendent who claimed to have a secret book of incriminating evidence on every supervisor and leader in the district, compiled by her brother in law personal investigator.  She was a lonely and controlling troll for whom I felt sorry for, but she stabbed us all in the back any time leaders took positions outside of Board or superintendent directives.  My colleagues played a game of Mean Girls, appearing to have their teacher and students' backs, but quickly running under the skirts of the superintendent and his prison matron henchwoman when they received a dirty look.  I hated them for it, and as I became more vocal in opposition to the direction we were headed, I was singled out as uncooperative and eventually "incompetent".

Despite making strong progress as a leader in technology, I felt like I was not going to allow another leader to undercut me and my reputation.  I completed all of my years of service needed for full retirement, and decided to make a clean break.  I trained a replacement (who subsequently resigned after three and a half months) and learned a new trade.  I make enough money to pay for health, dental, and vision insurance, and have enough left over to support any new hobbies or avocations I decide to explore.  I was elected alderman in my hometown, and am diligently learning how to become a positive agent of change within a system that seems, at times, dysfunctional and inefficient.  I decided to cut my ties with a non-profit paddle club that claims it serves to educate, but in practice feels more like a social club organized around the leaders' personal whims.

I am definitely in a time of chaos and confusion, yet I feel good about setting myself some boundaries and walking away from those things that have not served my in the past.  I have some work to do to reconnect with my son and help him become grounded again, but I am not feeling pressure to deliver all the answers, either.  My relationship with my wife is just ok, but I think we can improve on that by working on communication and learning to support one another as we chart this fourth quarter of our lives.  Someone said that a man's life is divided into four parts:  First, we are students; second, soldiers and workers.  Third; husbands and fathers, and fourth hermits seeking higher truths and wisdom.  I have completed the first three quarters and am seriously devoted to improving my understanding of what my life was all about.  I am increasingly rejecting social interactions, and feel less angst about what anyone else things about it.  This is my time to achieve my purpose, and I don't want to lose any time getting started on that journey.  If anyone wants to join me, I am open to it but it might not be what you expected.  Who knows where we will go or what we will find?