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Productive Struggle




Ancient and modern wisdom see eye to eye on some things, including the importance of frustration and problems without easy answers.  Productive struggle, it is called, and there is brain research to support its value.
 
One's practice of gratitude might be similar.  I know that I have more frequently prayed for God to rescue me from problems I created for myself.  For many years I smoldered, perceiving that there were those less deserving who seemed to luck out at nearly every opportunity, escaping Divine justice and never giving a whole lot of concern for others, for their future, for just about anything other than what the wanted right at that moment.  After all the time I spent worrying, planning, and yes, wishing, a lot of things just never worked out as well as I would have hoped.

After a divorce, getting fired for incompetence, and watching my kids choose a more comfortable life with their mom time and time again, I had really built up a case for unfair treatment.  Yet deep in my heart, I also understood that I really had no idea what it meant to be the victim of an unjust life.  I am male, white, well-educated, financially independent, and have great prospects for a comfortable retirement just around the corner.  If I had received short-shrift, I sure didn't wear it well.

The fact is, God has been extremely generous to me, and if I had just been more patient and open-minded in my twenties and thirties, I would have recognized that.  I really feel over-compensated in just about every way, and while it may have taken longer than I wished, I can only feel deeply indebted for all I continue to be given.  Recent fears about my health have forced me to reflect on my mortality more than usual.  I am just too fat, eating poorly, and not getting enough exercise to feel my best, but my body is being more than forgiving at this point.  I should not take that for granted, however, and I look forward to more activity beginning immediately.

I appreciate the struggles I have been dealt.  Only enough to make me a little wiser, a little more empathetic.  I have no deep emotional scars to bear, and I find it frustrating to hear others gripe about the unfairness of affirmative action or reparations for unforgivable harms done to peoples who stood in the way of my ancestors plans for a utopia on Earth.  I am not worthy of the bounty I inherited, at least while the children and grandchildren of the original residents of these lands are sequestered and the most American Americans continue to live within red lines that are considered war zones.  

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I don't have the corner on this thing called living. Advice from well-meaning people is appreciated. The rest of you can just keep your traps shut.

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